Saturday, November 28, 2009

Joint Weddings - and Holidays!

Being married to someone who did not grow up celebrating the Christmas holiday has (happily) forced me to create new traditions to join both Christmas and my spouse's holiday (Hanukkah) traditions seamlessly into our lives.  This is becoming the case more and more often in modern-day marriages.  That said, I thought I would give a few tips when it comes to celebrating and recognizing two different religions into your wedding day:

1) Be sure to have the discussion with your fiance regarding what they want, or don't want, to incorporate from their religious traditions.  Maybe they don't have a strong opinion either way - but it is uber important to have this conversation.

2) When you hire your wedding planner - be sure to fill them in on this detail, as they may have much experience with this and might be able to provide new ideas that you had not thought of yet.

3)  As much as you can't get around it - both sets of parents may have an input.  But, the day is all about you and your fiance.  So take what you want from them and leave anything you don't want to hear behind. 

4)  It is hard to be completely "equal" when it comes to incorporating traditions from each family.  Do your best and realize early that you will never make everyone happy!

5)  Incorporate the fun stuff - if you can't decide what traditions to incorporate, start with the cliche "fun stuff!"  This means - think of what will be fun for both of you and for your guests. 

6)  Finally, remember - whatever you do, it is your wedding and it can be whatever you both want it to be!  There are no rules anymore (well, only a few anyway!)!

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